Transformers: Dark of the Shittiest Movie Ever is proof that Americans are retarded.

[Dracophile]

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_dark_of_the_moon/
Critic score: 37% (Rotten)
Audience score: 90%

That's it. People officially have no taste in movies anymore. How the fuck anyone would give this an aggregate total of 90% is beyond me. This is one of the worst fucking films I have ever seen. It's nothing more than 2 and a half hours of explosions (haha yeah Michael Bay we know, you like explosions we get it) loosely tied together with a plot with more holes than a Vegas whorehouse.

Seriously the movie started out so interesting with hybrid footage of President Kennedy getting the Space Race started to recover alien wreckage on the moon. It seemed so riveting from the beginning, and then it just turned into shit in a matter of minutes. The second they establish this genius montage of editing finesse showcasing the moon landing we see ASS. Yeah, the camera cuts straight to the ass of Mutt Williams' (it's easier to spell that retard's Indiana Jones character than his real name) new girlfriend. Ass (literally) is the first thing you see, and ass (metaphorically) is about the only thing you see for the next 135 minutes.

I hated this film so much. I almost went to sleep.

Plus the obligatory "hot girl" was a fucking ugly horse cunt with inflatable lips.

Also, I'm not even picking a thread tag because I WANT this thread to be "GAY".

[Dracophile]

Damn it Payton where's that GAY tag?

[Pokerman14]

Ok then, let's ban movies nowadays.

[Butters]

Let's ban Michael Bay movies.

[Dylan]

I totally disagree with you. I thought this movie was simply amazing. The first half had a really engaging plot and then the last half was full of intense, emotional action as you watched Earth get destroyed. I was seriously about to cry when Bumblebee was going to get killed. Sam's new girlfriend didn't bother me that much. It was just a way to get people to stop complaining about how Megan Fox wasn't in the movie. To be honest, I wouldn't mind another sequel. However, if they decide not to make one, that's perfectly fine. The ending was terrific. I loved this movie so much that I'm going to see it again tomorrow.

[Butters]

I totally disagree with you. I thought this movie was simply amazing. The first half had a really engaging plot and then the last half was full of intense, emotional action as you watched Earth get destroyed. I was seriously about to cry when Bumblebee was going to get killed. Sam's new girlfriend didn't bother me that much. It was just a way to get people to stop complaining about how Megan Fox wasn't in the movie. To be honest, I wouldn't mind another sequel. However, if they decide not to make one, that's perfectly fine. The ending was terrific. I loved this movie so much that I'm going to see it again tomorrow.

HI BILLY MAYS HERE AND I WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU COULD INCLUDE A SPOILERS WARNING FOR FREE.

THAT'S NOT ALL!

Fuck you :P

[Dracophile]

I totally disagree with you. I thought this movie was simply amazing. The first half had a really engaging plot and then the last half was full of intense, emotional action as you watched Earth get destroyed. I was seriously about to cry when Bumblebee was going to get killed. Sam's new girlfriend didn't bother me that much. It was just a way to get people to stop complaining about how Megan Fox wasn't in the movie. To be honest, I wouldn't mind another sequel. However, if they decide not to make one, that's perfectly fine. The ending was terrific. I loved this movie so much that I'm going to see it again tomorrow.

There were PLENTY of scenes where someone was inches/seconds from being killed and EVERY SINGLE TIME they are saved right before it's too late. Had they only whipped that out once then it would have been far, FAR, more effective, but the director just threw that in there far too many times for it to be effective. By the time Bumblebee had a gun to his head I knew full well he'd be saved by some wacky deus ex machina. He was.

The ending was stupid and abrupt. The other films ended with Optimus Prime sharing some sort of insightful wisdom. In this one he says, basically, "we're gonna fight for Earth forever" and that's it? I mean the whole film was GREAT if you like seeing shit get blown up but if you're looking for any kind of cohesive or coherent plot it's gone.

Like I said, the first 15 minutes or so got me PUMPED. The hybridization of archival footage of the moon landing with the new stuff to tie things into the plot was masterful, and then it just fell apart from there. :(

edit: I think one of the conventions of American film that really gets on my nerves is the over-emphasis of showing "attractive" women throughout the entire damn movie. It's a ridiculous design facet that people tap into to get movies to appeal to mongoloids who watch SpikeTV all day and so they can show some stripper-esque shots of the female character in the trailers. Maybe if LaBeouf's counterpart in the film wasn't an insufferable worthless bitch who gets kidnapped or abducted like three times in the film he'd have a better character, but throughout the entire movie all he does it just save her sorry ass from [insert bad guy here].

[Dylan]

There were PLENTY of scenes where someone was inches/seconds from being killed and EVERY SINGLE TIME they are saved right before it's too late. Had they only whipped that out once then it would have been far, FAR, more effective, but the director just threw that in there far too many times for it to be effective. By the time Bumblebee had a gun to his head I knew full well he'd be saved by some wacky deus ex machina. He was.

The ending was stupid and abrupt. The other films ended with Optimus Prime sharing some sort of insightful wisdom. In this one he says, basically, "we're gonna fight for Earth forever" and that's it? I mean the whole film was GREAT if you like seeing shit get blown up but if you're looking for any kind of cohesive or coherent plot it's gone.

Like I said, the first 15 minutes or so got me PUMPED. The hybridization of archival footage of the moon landing with the new stuff to tie things into the plot was masterful, and then it just fell apart from there. :(

edit: I think one of the conventions of American film that really gets on my nerves is the over-emphasis of showing "attractive" women throughout the entire damn movie. It's a ridiculous design facet that people tap into to get movies to appeal to mongoloids who watch SpikeTV all day and so they can show some stripper-esque shots of the female character in the trailers. Maybe if LaBeouf's counterpart in the film wasn't an insufferable worthless bitch who gets kidnapped or abducted like three times in the film he'd have a better character, but throughout the entire movie all he does it just save her sorry ass from [insert bad guy here].
I must agree that I did notice that a lot of what Sam did revolved around Carly. However, I have to to disagree with you on the whole close to death scenes. The only real major one was the one with Bumblebee because he's been there since the very beginning and you can tell how much Sam cares about him. I realize that there were other ones. However, they were mostly with characters that no one really cared that much about. Also, I thought that what Optimus said went absolutely wonderful with the ending. It shows that the Autobots and the humans will always be there to back each other up no matter what. Plus, the whole fight with Sentinel totally fit in with that.

[Ausbro]

Let's ban Michael Bay movies.

I am dissapoint.

[deduust]

My childhood is obliterated.

[Dialgaz]

And i was gonna watch this in the cinema

[Dylan]

I just saw it again. However, it was a 3D showing this time. I'm not really a fan of 3D but it was simply amazing in this movie. Also, I thought it was even better seeing it the second time mostly because you could focus on the characters more. I simply love this movie.

[Dracophile]

I didn't realize it was a 3D movie (we don't have 3D theaters where I live) but I'd have skipped on that anyways. 3D is a stupid technology (was and still is) and I still firmly believe that if you cannot make an effective 2D production then you shouldn't make it 3D at all.

[Dylan]

I didn't realize it was a 3D movie (we don't have 3D theaters where I live) but I'd have skipped on that anyways. 3D is a stupid technology (was and still is) and I still firmly believe that if you cannot make an effective 2D production then you shouldn't make it 3D at all.
Like I said, I'm not a fan of 3D either. However, for this movie, it just made everything look so much better. I believe that the reason I don't like 3D that much is because it never even looks that great. That's usually because the movie is filmed regularly and is converted to 3D in post-production. However, with Dark of the Moon, they shot most of it with 3D cameras which, I believe, is why it looked so great.

Edit: Now I'm watching Revenge of the Fallen on TV. I'm addicted.

Edit: I just finished Revenge of the Fallen. To be honest, I think Dark of the Moon was better. Revenge of the Fallen didn't really include any main Transformers except for Bumblebee. However, I do miss Megan Fox's character. She actually fought and could take care of herself. Rosie's character was so defenseless and got kidnapped every five minutes. Also, I find the content advisory on IMDB hilarious. They make the movie sound so inappropriate.

"Sex & Nudity

Megan Fox's character takes off her motorcycle clothes revealing a skirt; we see her underpants briefly twice.

Megan Fox's character is dressed in a tight tank top and short shorts; cleavage. At one point she is cleaning a motorcycle in a very suggestive position.

A woman says she's going to skinny dip

A woman approaches a man and makes sexual comments to him. They get in the car, and she reveals her legs and slowly lifts up her skirt (he tries to look away). Later, she jumps on him in bed and they start to have sex, but are interrupted.

A man pulls down his pants revealing thong underwear; we see his butt.

Lots of sexual comments.

A man tells another man to not "be sucking the sack" the man replies with "which sack" and a third man says "the ball-sack" sarcastically, before being corrected by the first man who says "main-stream media sack"

We see a room that is full of posters that show women in bikinis, underwear, and in a few cases completely nude.

A man is shown under a very large robot, and what appears to be simulated male genitals are shown on the robot; the man then mentions the resemblance, and states that he is directly under the genitals, using both anatomical and crude names.

We see two dogs having sex."

[Butters]

I actually saw the movie today and loved it. The second one left me kind of confused as to whether I liked it or not. This one started off great with the Kennedy Space Program thing, then I was "meh" at the butt scene. I thought it was going to be bad from there, but then it began to pick up and it drew my interest. It got kicking for me as soon as Sam met that Asian guy. The 3D was great and I enjoyed every second of it. I would give it an 86% because the new girl had some shaky acting parts but otherwise the movie was great. There were moments when I was actually very sad. When the rocket was taking off, I felt like there was no hope for the humans and the Autobots.

Those last minute saves at potential death scenes doesn't make the movie bad. I'm sure that those happened loads of times in the original three Star Wars movies along with the Indiana Jones Series and many other movies. Not expecting that the person will be saved is like expecting the heroes to lose at the end. Those scenes helped emotions run wild and created a lot of suspense.

Overall in my opinion, this went way past the bar set for it from the Second film. The first may have been a nudge better but I think the third definitely was worth it.

I don't really like how critics are so...well critical these days. Video games that are really fun are given low scores and movies that are good are being given bad reviews.

[Dylan]

I just saw this for the third time. :3

[Svedka Vodka]

I thought it was alright. I wish the ending was different, felt it was too similar to the ending of the second one. Also, how the fuck did virtually everyone survive who was in that glass building?

[Butters]

I thought it was alright. I wish the ending was different, felt it was too similar to the ending of the second one. Also, how the fuck did virtually everyone survive who was in that glass building?

Because they are black, man. The only people that died are the white guys that slid off.


Feels bad, man.

[Svedka Vodka]

Because they are black, man. The only people that died are the white guys that slid off.


Feels bad, man.

Quoting all my posts today? Where I'm from it's always the black dude who gets killed first.

[MaDsEaSoN]

Watched it the weekend, it sucked. To be fair I never enjoyed the first two other than the fact Megan the bangable Fox was all over it. I'd bang the new one also, was reason enough to watch it till the end.

[Chief]

When I went watch this movie it was mainly for explosions, not to hope to find some good relationship love story movie.

I like transformers, I like robots kicking ass and destroying everything, lasers, explosions, transformations, action, this movie got all of that.

I simply ignored and facepalmed at the people talk during the whole movie and just cared about action.

People should know what they are getting themselves into when they decide to watch a movie.

I seriously always go watch only movies I know i will like.

I liked this movie because i knew what I wanted to watch and I got it.

Effects / Music / Action / Technology - 9/10

Characters (not autobots/decepticons) 1/10


That's pretty much my overview

[John]

What's with the hype with this 2-hour GM Commercial?

Cars 2 sucks balls BTW. (Pretty shitty for a Pixar film)

[Chief]

Lol cars 2? since when? didn't they gave up after the reviews from the first one?

[John]

Lol cars 2? since when? didn't they gave up after the reviews from the first one?
They apparently had the balls to make a second one even when the first one was the shittiest Pixar movie ever made (70+% on RT). It's even worse on the second one.

[Chief]

It's even worse on the second one.

That's almost impossible.

[retrodude]

Beast wars > Transformers.

[A Rabid Chicken]

never watched it, but people are enamored with 3D movies and special FX. (they seem to toss aside their common sense when they watch the special FX, esp. when they're in 3D.)

The Matrix was pretty much the same way. while it isn't the worst movie ever, it was/is terribly overrated because of its effects... that's how you make money off a shitty storyline/plot if you don't want to put in the effort to make it halfway decent.

[Funky Tiger]

I used to love them Transformers movies. Oh well

[Isenki]

The part that pissed me off the most was turning the awesome Milwaukee Art Museum (the white Star Trek-looking building with the car collection) into a private collector's garage. That, and they pretended it was in Washington. Puh-leeze. That is the most iconic building in Wisconsin; it's like having a movie set in Houston and using the NYC skyline.

[Bizor]

I walked out on this movie, all the way across the living room.

[deduust]

Beast wars > Transformers.



Please tell me that was sarcasm.

[Chosen]

This movie made a billion dollars.

One.

Billion.

Dollars.