ITT: We tell embaressing things that we wouldn't tell people IRL.

[Edward]

Because we're all strangers and we can trust eachother.

Somewhere deep down in the depths of youtube there's a video of me dancing. o3o

[Blingstr]

Because we're all strangers and we can trust eachother.

Somewhere deep down in the depths of youtube there's a video of me dancing. o3o

zwY9iQWYXIM

[Kani]

somewhere on youtube there are 2 videos of me getting slapped. as in 'my head almost detached from my shoulders' slapped.

also when I cook I always pick up a long sharp knife and juggle it around like a fencer.

[Butters]

Somewhere on youtube there is a video of me when I was about 12 years old shooting my friend with a nerfgun.

[Dialgaz]

There s one of me playing paintball, And getting owned at it :P

[Bizor]

I tell people that I pride myself in the fact that I have never put a picture of myself on the internet, but there are three instances of my face on the internet that I know of.

[Edward]

zwY9iQWYXIM

BLING GET THE FUCK OUT YOU RAMBUNCTIOUS GAY.

I actually won that.

[A Bag of Crackers]

I work on this video game satire website that is fueled by its rivalry with a gaming site.

[John]

someone took me a video of me drunk (about 8 years ago i think) and everyone got a copy

[Decadent One]

I'm camera-shy :(

Edit: Last time a friend stealthy took a photo of me, I took his camera and deleted that photo and dared him to take another photo again. LOL

I hate paparazzi.

[retrodude]

Not sure what I can say here that I don't say to people in real life... I tell people everything. I'm too open about me.

Like, for instance: I have a hairy ass. It's ridiculous and such a pain to shave too and keep clean. Half the time I don't bother but it's a jungle.
I shave my pits? Nothing really big, though.
Whenever I had nightmares or watched a scary movie when I was younger, I needed my mom to lay beside me. Once I hit 10 years, my mom was mean and said no. Than I became brave. Yay me.
The first time I banged a chick, a girl I dated for 2 and a half years, I lasted like less than a minute. She was tight.

Uhhh.. I got nothing else for now? I can't even think of one thing I haven't told to someone in real life that I would tell here. Hmmm..

[Bizor]

I read fan fiction.

:shame:

[Romeo and Juliet]

I don't know what ITT means.
:psyduck:

[John]

This is probably the most embarrassing thing I'll ever tell to people. The first time I got laid (really long ago), I actually got caught by the girl's parents by the minute it was already inside. It was on a position that you can't say "hey mum it's a massage". Up to now I'm guessing they have eternal hate on me.

[Dracophile]

I have a shit ton of things I won't tell people online or offline. Too much to hide, too much to be ashamed or self conscious about.

I guess the only thing I can think of are things specifically pertaining to traumatic experiences of mine, and the only person I've shared them with is my counselor. And I guess by proxy the fucking people responsible for doing them to me know about it too. I dunno, let's just pick one at random. I'm deeply afraid of hearing footsteps because I am paranoid that they belong to someone who is looking for me so they can come hurt me.

I'll throw down another one that I don't think I've shared before. I routinely avoid my friends or neglect to call them when I am feeling bad because I feel like I'm a leech and that I am not deserving of anybody's time, wishes, or money, even if they are trying to help me. When they post photos of themselves at parties or having fun I usually cry because I know I'm too goddamn unstable and too much of a mess to enjoy myself. The last time I was at a party full of people I didn't know I locked myself in the bathroom for three hours.

One more. Alcoholism runs in my family so I do my best to never drink. To make matters worse I once became violently ill with stress-induced symptoms that forever scarred my stomach and made it incredibly weak, one of the things I can no longer consume is alcohol (not even something faggy like Mike's Hard Lemonade). I have, on two specific occasions, attempted to get drunk to forget about my problems and spent almost the entire night vomiting and suffering from abdominal cramps and intense burning. I had made it to one and a half bottles. The most recent time I attempted this was when I lost my job with Miniclip.





Fuck it. My "first time" was awkward and I was in middle school. It was with another guy.

Somebody kill me now.

[Butters]

Fuck it. My "first time" was awkward and I was in middle school. It was with another guy.

Somebody kill me now.

Pics/vid or it never happened

[Dracophile]

Oh yeah I just so happened to record it with my Game Boy Camera let me just go get it real quick...

[Tolni]

I tell people that I pride myself in the fact that I have never put a picture of myself on the internet, but there are three instances of my face on the internet that I know of.

You're not alone.


I read fan fiction.

:shame:

As long as you didn't read the one where Captain Picard meet Elrond From Lord of the Rings, and then it gets sexual, I'm pretty sure it's not that bad.

[John]

Fuck it. My "first time" was awkward and I was in middle school. It was with another guy.

Somebody kill me now.

Okay, that sounds really really awkward.

[Tolni]

Okay, that sounds really really awkward.

Hmmm. It would be much more awkward if it was in Westboro Baptist Church.

In the day before Easter

At 23:59 AM.

There's someone plotting that.

[Ausbro]

My "first time" was awkward and I was in middle school. It was with another guy.

Somebody kill me now.

That sounds horribly weird.

Who was receiving?

Anyways, I still sleep with a stuffed toy. Its comforting but I always make sure to hide it whenever my friends are around.

[Newtown]

There's a picture of me (still out there probably) that has me fucking with Photo Booth's thermal camera filter at the age of 11. It's horrifying.

[Tolni]

There's a picture of me (still out there probably) that has me fucking with Photo Booth's thermal camera filter at the age of 11. It's horrifying.

Who would think the Internet would give me a new goal in life?

[Dracophile]

That sounds horribly weird.

Who was receiving?

Anyways, I still sleep with a stuffed toy. Its comforting but I always make sure to hide it whenever my friends are around.

Me.

And I have a stuffed alligator, I bought it because my therapist suggested I get one to help with my feelings of loneliness. I can't sleep without her, and yes I've assigned her a name and gender. I'm 23. :(

[Edward]

I still sleep with a stuffed bear that i've had for about 7 years called Michael Stife (If you don't get the refferance its the lead singer from R.E.M but instead of "Stipe" its Stife hurrr). Most of my friends actually know this and don't really give a shit.

[Dracophile]

One more. Alcoholism runs in my family so I do my best to never drink. To make matters worse I once became violently ill with stress-induced symptoms that forever scarred my stomach and made it incredibly weak, one of the things I can no longer consume is alcohol (not even something faggy like Mike's Hard Lemonade). I have, on two specific occasions, attempted to get drunk to forget about my problems and spent almost the entire night vomiting and suffering from abdominal cramps and intense burning. I had made it to one and a half bottles. The most recent time I attempted this was when I lost my job with Miniclip.

Last night I drank all the alcohol in the refrigerator and cried incoherently at people on the phone. I don't remember any of it.

[WANTED PENGUIN!]

i used to be kind of semi famous on youtube... for making club penguin videos. i remember one video had over half a million views. i should use this to pick up guys.

Last night I drank all the alcohol in the refrigerator and cried incoherently at people on the phone. I don't remember any of it.

your posts in this thread just make me want to give you an internet sympathy hug :(

[Link]

My YouTube username and that I played Club Penyun.

[retrodude]

Last night I drank all the alcohol in the refrigerator and cried incoherently at people on the phone. I don't remember any of it.

So, basically your therapist is shit?

I mean, my god dude your life can be so much worse. SO much worse. Look at all the fuckin kids in a sick kids hospital. The 5 year olds, the 8 year olds, the 12 year olds that do not get to experience simple pleasures in life. They don't get to be in a classroom, they don't get to make many friends, they don't get to play sports, wake up and play with toys as freely as another child could. Hell, half the kids don't even make it into teenhood and experience the joys of that. Fuck, you're not even a parapalegic. You're not mentally retarded, you're not on your death bed, you're not bedridden, you don't have broken bones and you're certainly not done living your life. One thing I've learned is that once you get past a certain phase and people grow up and mature they don't judge you as much anymore. You can go to comic con for christ sakes and make life long friends. You can go to some video game convention and make friends. Hell, there's people on here who seem to share your reptillian fetish. There's a common ground for everyone. There are many people in this world who you can relate with and eventually end up making friends and even better relationships. It doesn't happen overnight, it doesn't happen in a month. You can't expect shit to just happen suddenly. Considering the crap you've had happen to you and other minor disorders, it'll take time but the beauty of being healthy (for the most part) is you can afford to wait. Be happy you can even have normal conversations with people, that you understand words. Be happy you can walk. You can use your hands. You can write. Fuck, when I had my jaw broken I was pissed that I had to blend all my food and it tasted disgusting. But you know what? I only had to do that for 6 weeks. Sure, it seemed long but now that I look back at it, things could've been much worse. I could've lost teeth, ended up lookin ugly. I could've gotten hit in the temple and died. I could've become handicapped. SO many worse things could've happened to me. I'll take the 6 weeks of disgusting blended up crap over any of those. I'll take a broken jaw, leg, arm, nose over being in a hospital for years to come. Yeah, I can sit here and say it's easy to do this and easy to do that and you do have obstacles that you need to overcome but ffs man, drinking till your drunk and sulking to people over the phone ain't going to overcome jack shit. Maybe you just need to get alittle tipsy and head out to a gay bar. Or to a strip joint. Maybe you just need to contact some friend from the past and get together. Small steps. Don't expect anything big to happen right away. Fuck, I imagine you have people you've met who share your reptillian fetish, why not chat with them? Online? in real life? Anything to get the mood to change from drunken mess to happy. So you had sex with a guy and received in HS? Who gives a shit? Every person has embarrassing stuff that happens to them. The world's not on your ass to make you look stupid. Most of the stupid stuff you do, nobody notices. And if they do, they forget it soon. It's only your mind that remembers it and once you forget about it, you'll be fine. Yeah, life's shitty at times but my fuckin problems compared to a 10 year old kid who's dying of cancer in a hospital is zillion times worse than that chick who won't message me back. They fired you from Miniclip? Fuck, atleast you didn't get hit by a drunk driver and now have to be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life. Your book won't sell? Fuck, atleast you're not in jail serving a life sentence over a crime you committed.

In no way am I ragging on you, I'm just trying to make things alittle optimistic for you.

[Tolni]

So, basically your therapist is shit?

I mean, my god dude your life can be so much worse. SO much worse. Look at all the fuckin kids in a sick kids hospital. The 5 year olds, the 8 year olds, the 12 year olds that do not get to experience simple pleasures in life. They don't get to be in a classroom, they don't get to make many friends, they don't get to play sports, wake up and play with toys as freely as another child could. Hell, half the kids don't even make it into teenhood and experience the joys of that. Fuck, you're not even a parapalegic. You're not mentally retarded, you're not on your death bed, you're not bedridden, you don't have broken bones and you're certainly not done living your life. One thing I've learned is that once you get past a certain phase and people grow up and mature they don't judge you as much anymore. You can go to comic con for christ sakes and make life long friends. You can go to some video game convention and make friends. Hell, there's people on here who seem to share your reptillian fetish. There's a common ground for everyone. There are many people in this world who you can relate with and eventually end up making friends and even better relationships. It doesn't happen overnight, it doesn't happen in a month. You can't expect shit to just happen suddenly. Considering the crap you've had happen to you and other minor disorders, it'll take time but the beauty of being healthy (for the most part) is you can afford to wait. Be happy you can even have normal conversations with people, that you understand words. Be happy you can walk. You can use your hands. You can write. Fuck, when I had my jaw broken I was pissed that I had to blend all my food and it tasted disgusting. But you know what? I only had to do that for 6 weeks. Sure, it seemed long but now that I look back at it, things could've been much worse. I could've lost teeth, ended up lookin ugly. I could've gotten hit in the temple and died. I could've become handicapped. SO many worse things could've happened to me. I'll take the 6 weeks of disgusting blended up crap over any of those. I'll take a broken jaw, leg, arm, nose over being in a hospital for years to come. Yeah, I can sit here and say it's easy to do this and easy to do that and you do have obstacles that you need to overcome but ffs man, drinking till your drunk and sulking to people over the phone ain't going to overcome jack shit. Maybe you just need to get alittle tipsy and head out to a gay bar. Or to a strip joint. Maybe you just need to contact some friend from the past and get together. Small steps. Don't expect anything big to happen right away. Fuck, I imagine you have people you've met who share your reptillian fetish, why not chat with them? Online? in real life? Anything to get the mood to change from drunken mess to happy. So you had sex with a guy and received in HS? Who gives a shit? Every person has embarrassing stuff that happens to them. The world's not on your ass to make you look stupid. Most of the stupid stuff you do, nobody notices. And if they do, they forget it soon. It's only your mind that remembers it and once you forget about it, you'll be fine. Yeah, life's shitty at times but my fuckin problems compared to a 10 year old kid who's dying of cancer in a hospital is zillion times worse than that chick who won't message me back. They fired you from Miniclip? Fuck, atleast you didn't get hit by a drunk driver and now have to be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life. Your book won't sell? Fuck, atleast you're not in jail serving a life sentence over a crime you committed.

In no way am I ragging on you, I'm just trying to make things alittle optimistic for you.

I don't want to be offensive but..

HOLY SHIT, BATMAN, WALL OF TEXT!

[Dracophile]

No, I understand where you're coming from retro. Believe it or not I appreciate that you've said that to me. Part of my problem is just a mental disconnect between being able to take care of things. It's just like a broken record I guess, it keeps hitting a scratch and repeats the same section ad nauseam. The solution in this metaphor is to pick up the needle and put it ahead of the scratch. I can do that. The issue just lies in how poorly I am wired to handle personal stress.

I'm not playing the "disabled" card. I can work. The issue is I can't match the capacity or caliber as the people around me, as in the status quo. There are no "nice" jobs that aren't demanding of a shit-ton of time. The only "part-time" work you can find are retail stores and fast food. I feel retarded when I try to explain how I feel to people, because when I tell them there are basic everyday things that I am terrified of they don't make the connection that honestly get in the way of how well I can work. Stupid crap like phones and footsteps will eventually drive me to crying in fear. It happens, this is a real thing. The way you might feel if you're confronted with your biggest fear is the exact same way I feel if someone hands me a telephone. You can tell someone "I'm afraid of spiders" and they'll say "dude spiders are fucking scary" but if you say "I'm afraid of phones" they'll ask you what's wrong with you, completely oblivious that almost any fear is basically irrational at its heart.

I worry about making money, that's it. I don't aspire to be a millionaire or some successful mogul. I just want to scrape by and be happy. That's it. I haven't been able to hold a "real" job, ever. I've been fired from all of them because I'm not functional when taken from a place I feel "safe". The last job I had my manager had to get on my case because I would never answer the phone and when I could hear people walking around I myself found that I had problems with pacing. I would walk. Everywhere, but mostly away from the sound.

My life is not perfect, but I understand it can be a hell of a lot worse. I'm not on my deathbed with cancer but I'm also not as functional and seemingly carefree as the people around me. I can write and I can speak and perform, but there are a number of things where I can't keep up with the pace of society, and just because I'm not in a goddamn wheelchair people just don't get it through their heads.

In the end, I have friends. The problem is that most of the "quality" ones are online or they live ridiculously far away and I just cannot see them. :( I'd go to a bar or strip club, but, honestly that's just not my style. I don't look for sex, I look for love and companionship. I don't associate bars and strip joints with either term.

(PS: It was in middle school, not high school. ;))

[Butters]

I rub my nipples in a clockwise rotation.







Not really but I wanted to change the atmosphere :D

[Decadent One]

So, basically your therapist is shit?

I mean, my god dude your life can be so much worse. SO much worse. Look at all the fuckin kids in a sick kids hospital. The 5 year olds, the 8 year olds, the 12 year olds that do not get to experience simple pleasures in life. They don't get to be in a classroom, they don't get to make many friends, they don't get to play sports, wake up and play with toys as freely as another child could. Hell, half the kids don't even make it into teenhood and experience the joys of that. Fuck, you're not even a parapalegic. You're not mentally retarded, you're not on your death bed, you're not bedridden, you don't have broken bones and you're certainly not done living your life. One thing I've learned is that once you get past a certain phase and people grow up and mature they don't judge you as much anymore. You can go to comic con for christ sakes and make life long friends. You can go to some video game convention and make friends. Hell, there's people on here who seem to share your reptillian fetish. There's a common ground for everyone. There are many people in this world who you can relate with and eventually end up making friends and even better relationships. It doesn't happen overnight, it doesn't happen in a month. You can't expect shit to just happen suddenly. Considering the crap you've had happen to you and other minor disorders, it'll take time but the beauty of being healthy (for the most part) is you can afford to wait. Be happy you can even have normal conversations with people, that you understand words. Be happy you can walk. You can use your hands. You can write. Fuck, when I had my jaw broken I was pissed that I had to blend all my food and it tasted disgusting. But you know what? I only had to do that for 6 weeks. Sure, it seemed long but now that I look back at it, things could've been much worse. I could've lost teeth, ended up lookin ugly. I could've gotten hit in the temple and died. I could've become handicapped. SO many worse things could've happened to me. I'll take the 6 weeks of disgusting blended up crap over any of those. I'll take a broken jaw, leg, arm, nose over being in a hospital for years to come. Yeah, I can sit here and say it's easy to do this and easy to do that and you do have obstacles that you need to overcome but ffs man, drinking till your drunk and sulking to people over the phone ain't going to overcome jack shit. Maybe you just need to get alittle tipsy and head out to a gay bar. Or to a strip joint. Maybe you just need to contact some friend from the past and get together. Small steps. Don't expect anything big to happen right away. Fuck, I imagine you have people you've met who share your reptillian fetish, why not chat with them? Online? in real life? Anything to get the mood to change from drunken mess to happy. So you had sex with a guy and received in HS? Who gives a shit? Every person has embarrassing stuff that happens to them. The world's not on your ass to make you look stupid. Most of the stupid stuff you do, nobody notices. And if they do, they forget it soon. It's only your mind that remembers it and once you forget about it, you'll be fine. Yeah, life's shitty at times but my fuckin problems compared to a 10 year old kid who's dying of cancer in a hospital is zillion times worse than that chick who won't message me back. They fired you from Miniclip? Fuck, atleast you didn't get hit by a drunk driver and now have to be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life. Your book won't sell? Fuck, atleast you're not in jail serving a life sentence over a crime you committed.

In no way am I ragging on you, I'm just trying to make things alittle optimistic for you.

No, I understand where you're coming from retro. Believe it or not I appreciate that you've said that to me. Part of my problem is just a mental disconnect between being able to take care of things. It's just like a broken record I guess, it keeps hitting a scratch and repeats the same section ad nauseam. The solution in this metaphor is to pick up the needle and put it ahead of the scratch. I can do that. The issue just lies in how poorly I am wired to handle personal stress.

I'm not playing the "disabled" card. I can work. The issue is I can't match the capacity or caliber as the people around me, as in the status quo. There are no "nice" jobs that aren't demanding of a shit-ton of time. The only "part-time" work you can find are retail stores and fast food. I feel retarded when I try to explain how I feel to people, because when I tell them there are basic everyday things that I am terrified of they don't make the connection that honestly get in the way of how well I can work. Stupid crap like phones and footsteps will eventually drive me to crying in fear. It happens, this is a real thing. The way you might feel if you're confronted with your biggest fear is the exact same way I feel if someone hands me a telephone. You can tell someone "I'm afraid of spiders" and they'll say "dude spiders are fucking scary" but if you say "I'm afraid of phones" they'll ask you what's wrong with you, completely oblivious that almost any fear is basically irrational at its heart.

I worry about making money, that's it. I don't aspire to be a millionaire or some successful mogul. I just want to scrape by and be happy. That's it. I haven't been able to hold a "real" job, ever. I've been fired from all of them because I'm not functional when taken from a place I feel "safe". The last job I had my manager had to get on my case because I would never answer the phone and when I could hear people walking around I myself found that I had problems with pacing. I would walk. Everywhere, but mostly away from the sound.

My life is not perfect, but I understand it can be a hell of a lot worse. I'm not on my deathbed with cancer but I'm also not as functional and seemingly carefree as the people around me. I can write and I can speak and perform, but there are a number of things where I can't keep up with the pace of society, and just because I'm not in a goddamn wheelchair people just don't get it through their heads.

In the end, I have friends. The problem is that most of the "quality" ones are online or they live ridiculously far away and I just cannot see them. :( I'd go to a bar or strip club, but, honestly that's just not my style. I don't look for sex, I look for love and companionship. I don't associate bars and strip joints with either term.

(PS: It was in middle school, not high school. ;))

I didn't read :/

Edit: Oh, They gave me a warning. Gotta read it I think.

The warning was for spamming though :P

[Link]

I didn't read :/

Edit: Oh, They gave me a warning. Gotta read it I think.

The warning was for spamming though :P

It was for not really contributing to the thread.

[Decadent One]

It was for not really contributing to the thread.

meh. My posting style never changes.

On-topic:

My size: 4.7"

I'd tell/show/fuck everyone who's interested though.

[Dracophile]

meh. My posting style never changes.

On-topic:

My size: 4.7"

I'd tell/show/fuck everyone who's interested though.

Average is all relative anyways. There's never been an actual study where doctors measured dongs, they're always free response. Of course people are going to add an inch or two (or seven). That really fucks up what is said to be the "average" length. Pornography has kind of skewed things to the far end of the spectrum in the way of how "hot" women are and how "big" guys are. Very unrealistic.

I'm not too gung-ho on size myself (that may or may not be a baldfaced lie) but I wouldn't judge my partner if he was "inadequate". There's more to love and life than sex. Besides, they make sheath toys you can wear if you're paranoid about size anyways. XD

[Josh 443]

I have Aspergers, an autism spectrum disorder.
And ADHD.
And other things that I don't want to say.

Now I feel bad about posting...

[John]

I'm a Mac user

[retrodude]

Gah, I'll respond soon to Draco's post. I'm high right now.

...And hungry. Late night trip to Mcdicks!

[Dracophile]

I have Aspergers, an autism spectrum disorder.
And ADHD.
And other things that I don't want to say.

Now I feel bad about posting...

Were they diagnosed? Sorry if that's offensive but offense wasn't intended. I ask because people around me assumed I may have had high-functioning autism in some form, but when I sought professional diagnosis "autism" showed up nowhere on the results. Turns out I had other issues that shared a couple symptoms with things like HFA but were totally different.

[Josh 443]

Were they diagnosed? Sorry if that's offensive but offense wasn't intended. I ask because people around me assumed I may have had high-functioning autism in some form, but when I sought professional diagnosis "autism" showed up nowhere on the results. Turns out I had other issues that shared a couple symptoms with things like HFA but were totally different.

yes It's diagnosed, but it took a decade to get the diagnoses(and a trip to a mental hospital for thoughts of suicide) I took an IQ test there, multiple parts, average 117, written comprehension 128, speed of processing information 85...

[Projectmatt]

When I was a little kid if you put a simple object in front of me, like a tissue or a slinkie, I would talk to myself and make little "movies" in my head using those objects for hours and hours and hours. No exaggeration. I had full plots, "episodes" and my hands were the main characters of the show. Oh, and there were channels for each "episode" I made too. The nature of the "episode" would decide which channel it fit into. I did it for way too long. It probably completely stopped when I was about 12, which makes me think I have un-diagnosed autism or something.

I also had an entire family of imaginary friends. I had an abusive uncle who would throw me out the window, and I was married to a fairy named Belltinka and we had a ton of kids.

[Moose]

Don't know if this really counts as "embarrassing" but when I was 11 I went into my Dad's office (an area of our house that is forbidden.) while he wasn't home. He is a graphics designer and he was working on some advertisements. They were on his drawing table as they were still in the early drawing stages. I was holding a glass of chocolate milk. I set it down on the desk, however right after setting it down I bumped it and it tipped over. Chocolate milk ran down my dad's sketches and drawings and dribbled on to the floor. I wiped up all of the chocolate milk but obviously my Dad's sketches could not be saved. He never found out who did it as I never had the guts to admit it.

[jim_b_hello]

I seem to have absolutely no sense of ambition. In a similar vein to Draco, I just want to earn enough money to support a life I'm happy with (however, winning the lottery and never having to work ever again in my life would be pretty fucking awesome).

[Dracophile]

If I won the lottery I wouldn't know what to do with it all. I'd be like Mr Deeds and end up just helping the people close to me. My whole life I've done nothing but NOT spend money, if I suddenly had millions of dollars I'd expunge all of my debts and.... I have no idea. I'd buy a house, pay off my truck (just did that), and pay off my credit and gas cards. From that point? Who knows.

[jim_b_hello]

Same here. I'd pay off my student loan, give my parents money so they'd be fine and then preferably move out and live much like I do now. But with less nagging. I wouldn't run out spending it all on crap, I'd probably live as normal but help out people I know. It's sad really. :(

[Romeo and Juliet]

If I won the lottery I wouldn't know what to do with it all. I'd be like Mr Deeds and end up just helping the people close to me. My whole life I've done nothing but NOT spend money, if I suddenly had millions of dollars I'd expunge all of my debts and.... I have no idea. I'd buy a house, pay off my truck (just did that), and pay off my credit and gas cards. From that point? Who knows.

Buy GatorAids a top notch Minecraft server that doesnt crash every day or two?
:P

[Dracophile]

I would do that. :)

[retrodude]

No, I understand where you're coming from retro. Believe it or not I appreciate that you've said that to me. Part of my problem is just a mental disconnect between being able to take care of things. It's just like a broken record I guess, it keeps hitting a scratch and repeats the same section ad nauseam. The solution in this metaphor is to pick up the needle and put it ahead of the scratch. I can do that. The issue just lies in how poorly I am wired to handle personal stress.

I guess thats where the therapy comes in. I mean, I can sit here and say it shouldn't be too hard to overcome but at the same time I don't know how it feels like. I think you can, judging by the online personality and such, though.


I'm not playing the "disabled" card. I can work. The issue is I can't match the capacity or caliber as the people around me, as in the status quo. There are no "nice" jobs that aren't demanding of a shit-ton of time. The only "part-time" work you can find are retail stores and fast food. I feel retarded when I try to explain how I feel to people, because when I tell them there are basic everyday things that I am terrified of they don't make the connection that honestly get in the way of how well I can work. Stupid crap like phones and footsteps will eventually drive me to crying in fear. It happens, this is a real thing. The way you might feel if you're confronted with your biggest fear is the exact same way I feel if someone hands me a telephone. You can tell someone "I'm afraid of spiders" and they'll say "dude spiders are fucking scary" but if you say "I'm afraid of phones" they'll ask you what's wrong with you, completely oblivious that almost any fear is basically irrational at its heart.
Mm, same as at top.


I worry about making money, that's it. I don't aspire to be a millionaire or some successful mogul. I just want to scrape by and be happy. That's it. I haven't been able to hold a "real" job, ever. I've been fired from all of them because I'm not functional when taken from a place I feel "safe". The last job I had my manager had to get on my case because I would never answer the phone and when I could hear people walking around I myself found that I had problems with pacing. I would walk. Everywhere, but mostly away from the sound.

Eh, don't we all worry about money? Fuck, I can't tell you how many times I've had to say "no, i can't do this awesome trip." or "No, I can't go here." because I had no cash flow. I hate borrowing from friends and I hate borrowing from my parents. Than again, you can always try and hope that Beauty and the Geek gets revived and you can try out for it! Who knows, maybe some blonde bimbo is your soulmate... or red headed tech guy.


My life is not perfect, but I understand it can be a hell of a lot worse. I'm not on my deathbed with cancer but I'm also not as functional and seemingly carefree as the people around me. I can write and I can speak and perform, but there are a number of things where I can't keep up with the pace of society, and just because I'm not in a goddamn wheelchair people just don't get it through their heads.

There are a number of things that many people can't do. I can't sing for shit, I can't play an instrument, I can't do anything related to music, I can't paint, I can't draw, etc. etc. Focusing on the good things and less on the bad is the way to cope, always. Seems so simple but hell simple works!


In the end, I have friends. The problem is that most of the "quality" ones are online or they live ridiculously far away and I just cannot see them. :( I'd go to a bar or strip club, but, honestly that's just not my style. I don't look for sex, I look for love and companionship. I don't associate bars and strip joints with either term.

(PS: It was in middle school, not high school. ;))

Look less for love and general fun. Doesn't have to be sex. Not everything has to be love, right away. Hell, I'm not looking to become infatuated by the next broad I talk to you, but if she's cute and has a good personality, I'm down for spending money on her for a movie night or a night out. If not, than whatever maybe I'll see her again drunk and we hook up. Or, we never see each other and life goes on.

[Decadent One]

I pee in bottles when I don't feel like going to the bathroom. Lameness..

[Dracophile]

Aye, I was speaking about loneliness in regards to relationships. Though sometimes I feel like I really do need more quality friendships in my life. People I can see and hang out with who have similar interests and such. I know there's more to life than just finding a relationship partner but ultimately that's what I'd like to go toward, but I know that to get there you have to make friends first. :)

[maitias]

Like, 20 mental conditions. Hysteria, masochism, paranoia, hallucinations, auditory hallucinations, etc.

It's not really embarrassing, but for me it's the case where someone has such a high IQ (mine is 150 something) and has to pay a price for it. Ah well. I've come to enjoy their company.


oh and uh, I'm a heavy conspiracy theorist. One of those people that will deny most history, because history can be forged and changed given enough periods of time. And a lot of other things people would call 'ridiculous'.

[Dracophile]

I kind of see things the same way. If you're "gifted", there's a trade-off involved; you pay for your abilities by sacrificing something else that most everyone else has.

I can paint a mural inside your head with words. I can also paint pavement if people don't keep tabs on me when I start to fall apart. Sucks. :(

[maitias]

When you say "you pay for your abilities by sacrificing something else that most everyone else has," are you referring to mental stability (in this case) ?

[Liva148]

People on the internet know me better than 70% of my friends.

[Link]

oh and uh, I'm a heavy conspiracy theorist. One of those people that will deny most history, because history can be forged and changed given enough periods of time. And a lot of other things people would call 'ridiculous'.

You should watch Penn & Teller: Bullshit. :P

[Spy-der]

I used to cry myself to sleep because I didnt have friends until I turned 12 because my parents kept me sheltered to the point where I literally had no contact with anyone outside of my house for about a year. Being homeschooled by a mentally abusive mother didnt help either.

[Dracophile]

When you say "you pay for your abilities by sacrificing something else that most everyone else has," are you referring to mental stability (in this case) ?

Absolutely. Anything can be traded off.

[Josh 443]

but sometimes being mentally unstable is what makes you be more intelligent.

[Dracophile]

but sometimes being mentally unstable is what makes you be more intelligent.

That's what we mean, it's a tradeoff. You're more intelligent at the expense of being completely fucking unstable.

[Ben]

I am the Batman.

[Dialgaz]

I actually Used to go to yugioh TCG tournament, I would never tell anyone that IRL because most of my freinds hate yugioh ... :/

[Dracophile]

I actually Used to go to yugioh TCG tournament, I would never tell anyone that IRL because most of my freinds hate yugioh ... :/

I went to two Pokemon TCG games way back in the day, I was banned both times. The second time I signed up with a pseudonym.

[Bizor]

2 days ago I watched Yes Man at 3am then cried myself to sleep while snuggling a Seaworld dolphin plush animal and listening to a band called My Little Pony.

[Dialgaz]

2 days ago I watched Yes Man at 3am then cried myself to sleep while snuggling a Seaworld dolphin plush animal and listening to a band called My Little Pony.

That there is perhaps the best thing i have seen allday! You get my special medal :P
:trollface:

[Link]

I just realized that you can see hair growing in my ear canal. It's at least a quarter inch long. :( also my nose hair can get pretty thick and long. When I'm old and rich enough I'm getting laser hair removal. :/

[A Bag of Crackers]

I actually Used to go to yugioh TCG tournament, I would never tell anyone that IRL because most of my freinds hate yugioh ... :/

I went to these weekly as a kid too, as well as those bi-monthly previews of new booster packs even though you had to drive all the way downtown and pay $20 to get five packs of cards and mingle with a bunch of 20-something Asians and scam artists.

Good times.

[Tolni]

Saying this only to make Payton's name stop gliching the page.

[Karpolo]

I am the Batman.

No! I'm the batman!

http://i55.tinypic.com/16it7o0.jpg

[Decadent One]

I am the Batman.

No! I'm the batman!


No, you are spammers.

:trollface:

I'm the trollman.

[Josh 443]

I have ass hair...

[Liva148]

I have more fun talking to people on the internet and hanging out with my mom than with 1/3 of my friends.

[Marz]

On youtube theres a vid of me dancing too but I like it :shinchan:

[Kailey]

I have more fun talking to people on the internet and hanging out with my mom than with 1/3 of my friends.

^this
and I have an unhealthy obsession with Dance Moms.

[WANTED PENGUIN!]

when i was like six years old i would constantly have this one random intrusive thought of jesus being naked and peeing everywhere. i was at a funeral once and BAM that image came into my head and i felt like such a bad kid and then at night i'd profusely beg for forgiveness. this would happen on a weekly basis

[Clockwork]

I instantly like any girl named "Maddie" out of sheer instinct.

Please shoot me in the face with a crossbow.

[A Bag of Crackers]

I instantly like any girl named "Maddie" out of sheer instinct.

Please shoot me in the face with a crossbow.

I had a neighbor earlier this year whose name was Maddie. I heard something about her dad spanking her a hundred times in a row. She's my age.

Don't know what she did. I don't really like their family, anyways.

[Karpolo]

when i was like six years old i would constantly have this one random intrusive thought of jesus being naked and peeing everywhere. i was at a funeral once and BAM that image came into my head and i felt like such a bad kid and then at night i'd profusely beg for forgiveness. this would happen on a weekly basis

That's the funniest thing I've read all day.

[Decadent One]

Chemistry teacher PMs me and seemingly likes to go out with me. She's like 8 years older than me.

A li'l embarrassing, no?