Dracophile
05-12-2009, 04:57 AM
Perhaps it's something from growing up playing too much Twisted Metal or Demolition Derby, but I'd like a program where all people do is just break things with cars - and nothing else. The other day I saw a commercial for Weaponizers on the Discovery Channel which was touted as a show where two teams modify vehicles to be remote controlled and carry weapons on them. It sounded awesome and in the ad I saw spinning battle axes and all sorts of crazy shit. This would be awesome and it would rock my fucking face off.
I waited a week for that show to come on, and it premiered today. It was the worst thing ever. Sure the build time for the first 40 minutes of the show was going to suck, but usually it's somewhat interesting to watch. This was just painful if anything, everything just seemed too distant from reality, they were in the middle of the desert and the workshop didn't even imply there was an outside world... not to mention all both teams did was just dick with each other's crap.
They had machine guns (which I believe was just represented with sound effects 95% of the time) and some other customized weapons, but it was all total crap. One team mounted some spinning blades on their bus which suspiciously quit working the second they turned them on. They said the engine burned out... but the smoke was coming out too far away from the engine to be nothing more than scripted trash. The other team had rockets, but they were nothing more than pyrotechnic fireworks. They "shot" at "targets" but it just wasn't believable, it was so bad that you could tell it was remote charges being set off.
The best (worst) part was when the spinning axe team brought out their "secret weapon", a golf cart dressed up as a knight on a horse that was loaded with explosives. The other team "defended themselves" by shooting at the knight and hilarity ensued. Through camera cuts you could see the knight driving around but when it was being fired at it just sat still. This wouldn't be a problem if they hadn't been cutting back and forth like this, implying that it was moving but stopping every few moments to be shot in the face. They always sat still when being fired at, never moving.
I was hoping for a balls-out slamfest between some killer machines with damage and fire and explosions and instead what I got was something that looked like an amateur attempt at filming a movie-themed "experience" ride at Universal Studios. Weaponizers fucking sucked.
I waited a week for that show to come on, and it premiered today. It was the worst thing ever. Sure the build time for the first 40 minutes of the show was going to suck, but usually it's somewhat interesting to watch. This was just painful if anything, everything just seemed too distant from reality, they were in the middle of the desert and the workshop didn't even imply there was an outside world... not to mention all both teams did was just dick with each other's crap.
They had machine guns (which I believe was just represented with sound effects 95% of the time) and some other customized weapons, but it was all total crap. One team mounted some spinning blades on their bus which suspiciously quit working the second they turned them on. They said the engine burned out... but the smoke was coming out too far away from the engine to be nothing more than scripted trash. The other team had rockets, but they were nothing more than pyrotechnic fireworks. They "shot" at "targets" but it just wasn't believable, it was so bad that you could tell it was remote charges being set off.
The best (worst) part was when the spinning axe team brought out their "secret weapon", a golf cart dressed up as a knight on a horse that was loaded with explosives. The other team "defended themselves" by shooting at the knight and hilarity ensued. Through camera cuts you could see the knight driving around but when it was being fired at it just sat still. This wouldn't be a problem if they hadn't been cutting back and forth like this, implying that it was moving but stopping every few moments to be shot in the face. They always sat still when being fired at, never moving.
I was hoping for a balls-out slamfest between some killer machines with damage and fire and explosions and instead what I got was something that looked like an amateur attempt at filming a movie-themed "experience" ride at Universal Studios. Weaponizers fucking sucked.